12 DOC: Tutorial: Holiday Remembrance Dishes

*This tutorial is part of the 12 Days of Christmas series. Read more here.

Holiday Remembrance Dishes Tutorial
By MaryJo Carlson

An easy, inexpensive and fun way to keep our precious babies/grandbabies memory alive at the Christmas table.

Supplies Needed:

• A porcelain plate and cup - you can find them at any dollar store or WalMart for a very small amount of money.  

• Permanent pens in desired colors. There are many bands out there - any brand works, again any dollar store, WalMart, etc. 

• A Design - Create your own design or find a design online that you would like to copy.  

Steps:1. Draw with the permanent pens on the porcelain. Make sure you put their name on it, or something special that reminds you of your them. You can also write a special note to your baby, if you'd like!

2. Place plate and cup in over and set the temperature for 350 degrees. Once the temperature has reached 350 start timing. Bake for 30 minutes and then turn off oven and leave the plate and cup in until cool.  

3. You're done! Set them at the Christmas table to reserve their memory spot.

~ ~ ~

Be sure to read MaryJo's 12 Days of Christmas post, HERE.

12 DOC: Tutorial: Christmas Tree Shadow Box

*This tutorial is part of the 12 Days of Christmas series. Read more here.

Christmas Tree Shadow Box 
By Jenna Gassew

What you will need: (everything was found at Michael's Craft Store)

 Mini battery operated lights
 Mini clothes pins
 A decorative piece of paper for the background ( we used a gold glitter piece)
 Glue gun
 Photos of your angel baby small enough to be ornaments on the tree ( we cut them out in circle shapes)
 Faux snow
 Christmas tree topper ( we used a star)
 Shadow box

How to get started:
Cut out all your angel baby's photos small enough to be ornaments on the tree hung by the mini clothes pins.

Take your decorative paper and outline in pencil your tree shape.

Start at the top of the tree and use the lights to zig zag following your guide in the shape of a Christmas tree ( use the glue gun to keep the lights fastened) (see figure 1)

Diagram 1

Add your extra bows on the ends or wherever else you would like.

Take your photos and clip them on the light strand.

Top off your tree by gluing the star on the paper.

You can then add faux snow to the bottom section of your shadow box.

Lastly take your decorative piece of paper that you glued the lights, bows, and photos on and cover up the shadow box ( make sure you cut a small nook to let the battery pack extend out of the frame for easy use).

Now, display it!

 This craft was made in honor of my sweet boy, Shane Michael who passed away on October 9th 2014 to Anencephaly/Acrania. I didn’t get a ton of photos so I wanted a creative way to show off his photos. This was very quick and easy to make! During the holidays I find it comforting to do crafts like this to keep him incorporated in our family.

To My Sweet Shane Michael,

Another year has come and gone. Last year felt like a blur. It was only two months before that we welcomed you into this world, and quickly said goodbye. But this year feels harder. It was like I had the time to think of all the things I would be missing out on, from Santa photos, sending out Christmas cards, to seeing your eyes twinkling with every Christmas light. We wanted to start traditions; we wanted to spend time together, celebrating as a family. We wanted to watch you being handed from aunt to uncle, and being played with at grand mom and grand pops. We wanted to hold you, and kiss those rosy cheeks. All we ever wanted was you. Holidays just seem tougher because we are surrounded by everyone except you. My heart still aches, my tears still flow, and my arms are still empty. You are so missed and deeply loved sweet boy. Please watch over us our beautiful angel and know there is not one second of the day that we are not thinking of you.

Love Always,

Momma

~ ~ ~

Jenna Gassew is from outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. She is a graduate of Rosemont College with a degree in Mathematics. She is the mother to a beautiful little boy in heaven, Shane Michael Haley. Shane was diagnosed with Anencephaly at 13 weeks gestation. Jenna and Shane’s father, Dan, decided to create a bucket-list on which they took Shane to various places such as Phillies games, New York City, and Ocean City, Maryland. Shane was born October 9, 2014 and lived for four precious hours where he spent his whole life loved. She continues to bring awareness to Anencephaly in honor of her son. More about Jenna, Dan, and Shane’s journey can be found on  their face book page, “Prayers for Shane.”

Creating a Remembrance Table - Part III

By Dave and MaryJo Carlson, Samuel's Grandparents

This is part III of III. Read I - Read II

Our Sweet Samuel, Each day we have loved seeing all your things on your remembrance table.  We have had many people come and look at it.  The ones that are the most curious are children that visit our home.  They like to touch your picture and ask all about you.  They think you are beautiful and we agree.  They like to ask all about heaven.  We wish you could answer the questions we imagine together.  Today our 3 little neighbor children were here.  We talked about animals that are in heaven and how much fun you must be having with them.  Their dog has been very sick and today they had to say goodbye to her.  Her name is Pippin.  They wondered if you would look for her and help her to feel welcome in heaven. I think your table helped them to talk about their sadness and the joy of heaven. 

On day 9 we added two things from Oregon.  Your mama and daddy moved there last year with all your special things.  But you already know that. They made a special place in their home just for you. It is so perfect!  Your aunties visited your mama and daddy this summer and brought back these two very precious things from their trip; a real leaf that has been preserved and a rock turtle from the Sea Lion Cave.  They just knew you would have loved the sea lion caves.  We think they are right.  Do you play with the sea lions in heaven?

On day 10 we moved your light from the stand it usually sits on, to your table.  We bought this light for the first Wave of Light we participated in the year you went to heaven – 2012. Your little light shines in our hearts each and every day Samuel.

Your remembrance table would not be right without books.  Here are just a few that we have for you.  Your mama and daddy read books to you all the time while you were here with us.  We continue to buy books in your memory.  You know lots of books were donated to the library near your house in Mankato in your memory on your 2^nd birthday.  I like to think of all the families that check out your books and read your name and say it out loud. Day 11 was the day of Samuel’s books.

On day 12 Grampa hung the candle we bought together for this year’s Wave of Light.  Here it is right by the word love. We practiced lighting it for you.  It will be a very special night again to light the world with love for all our babies that are with you in heaven.  I bet you all stop and look down from heaven and cheer when your light shines up to each of you. We can just hear all the children of heaven squealing and imagine seeing you all jumping and clapping “there’s mine and there’s mine, oh look there’s yours…”. So much love shining up to you.

One more candle for day 13.  There is a loss mama who makes beautiful butterfly drawings in the sand in Australia for all the loss families.  Her name is CarlyMarie.  She made one just for you, Samuel.  We took one of the pictures of your sand butterfly and put it on a globe. We added some sand and a candle to light inside and laid some shells in front of it.  It is a beautiful blue, one of our favorite colors to remember you with.  It reminds us of the color daddy and grampa painted your room while we waited for you to be born.

It is almost the day for Wave of Light.  Day 14 and our table is complete. We light our candles. A part of your table has always been there.  Your table sits right under our shelf that always has the manager scene on it, we never put it away.   A mama that had to give her son back too.  We can think of no better place to have your table then under the story of Jesus, the light of the world, who gave his life so that we can be together forever with you in heaven, Samuel.  Samuel, you are already there, free from pain and sorrow; safe and happy and know only love. You have always only known love.  We can’t wait to be with you forever!

October 15, Wave of Light – we light the world with the light of our love for you, our beautiful little boy that we desperately miss each and every day.  You light up our lives with LOVE.

Sending lots of hugs and hundreds of kisses,

Grama and Grampa

Creating a Remembrance Table - Part II

 Dave and MaryJo Carlson, grandparents to Samuel Evan Fredrickson.

This is part II of a series of tutorials for creating a Remembrance Table in preparation for the Wave of Light on October 15th. Be sure to read Part I and Part III

Dear Samuel,

We did some more work on the table that’s all about you. We are sharing it with all our friends whose children and grandchild are in heaven with you.

Our second day of creating your Samuel’s Sacred Space Table just has to have bunnies.  As you know this is one of your nicknames that your mama and daddy call you, “our little bunny”.  We couldn’t stop at just one so we are going to play a game with you called ‘find the bunnies’.  Can you find all of them on the table?  You have enough fingers on one hand to count them all. We love you, little bunny boy.

The third day was easy because that’s the birthday we celebrated with you this year, Samuel, you are 3 years old!  We can’t believe how big you are getting. We bet you can run very fast and maybe love playing chase with all your friends in heaven.  Use your eyes and find where we are hiding the # 3. It’s in a very special lap to represent what we wish we were doing – holding you on our lap and telling stories. Grandpa is really good at that.

Day 4 adds a great big S. S is for Samuel, the sweetest boy we know.  S is for stretching your arms way out wide and saying SO BIG; yes you are.  S is for your smile that melts our hearts when we think of you.  S is for the someday that we will be together forever and never, ever apart.  

The letter S is made of metal which is very strong, just like our LOVE for you.  Day 5 we add the word love (also made of metal) for there is no better word to describe how we feel about you. The word love is only 4 letters long but our love for you goes on and on and on…

On day 6 we hung your prayer flag that we made for you this summer. We love to see and say your name and it has another bunny on it, this one with a fluffy, puffy tail.  We think you’d love baby bunnies – the real ones are so cute, just like you. Now that we think of it you probably play with bunnies all the time.

Grampa and Grama were shopping the other day and a sign caught our eye.  You can see we bought it for your memory table to add on day 7. You are forever present in our hearts, day in and day out.  We imagine you in everything we do.  Do you hear us when we talk to you? Oh we hope so

Day 8 we added a rock that usually sits on top of our piano. We see it all the time.  We sure miss you each and every day.  Your name is music to our ears and so that is why we chose to have it on the piano.  Right next to the rock is a beautiful angel that your cousins picked out when we went to the state fair this year.  When it’s nice outside she sits in our Samuel garden. We made it just for you.  Sometimes we have to look for where she is hiding as she likes to check out all the flowers that are blooming or play in the fairy garden house.  Do you play in heaven’s gardens Samuel?We're going to keep adding to your special table, to get it ready for the Wave of Light on the 15th. Our next post will be when we're ready to light your special candle!

~ ~ ~

Dave and MaryJo Carlson are Samuel Evan's grandparents. Their daughter, RaeAnne, carried him with all her love after learning of his fatal diagnosis during pregnancy. She created All That Love Can Do in his memory. MaryJo runs the private group for bereaved grandparents, ATLCD_Grandparents. They live in MN.

Creating a Remembrance Table - Part I

By Dave and MaryJo Carlson, grandparents to Samuel Evan Fredrickson.

October is the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th is the Wave of Light.

This is part I of III. Be sure to read Part II and Part III.

"Where but in the present can the eternal be met?" 

- C.S Lewis

Our dear Samuel, 

You are so beautiful and you are so loved! How can we not remember you? How can we not still talk about you? How can we not celebrate you? How do we wait what might be a very long time to be with you forever? A precious little boy who stole our hearts the second we heard he was on the way and has forever changed us for this life and the next - Samuel Evan Fredrickson - April 14, 2012 was hello and goodbye until we meet again FOREVER. 

It has been over 3 years since we met you face to face; touch to touch. How can it be that we still wish time has not moved forward but forever stood still.

Stood still so we could keep you here with us.
Stood still so we could scoop you into our arms and never let you go.
Stood still so we could say everything we wanted to say to you.
Stood still so we could smother you with kisses and hugs and cute little sayings.
Stood still so we could be your grandparents and have you here with us… 
…rather than wishing time stood still.

We love you, Samuel!

We look back and realize a person will truly never know what this feels like until it happens to them. We don't know what it means to lose a child in the way our daughter and son-in-law do. But that doesn’t keep us from remembering with them, supporting them through the rest of this life as they try and find a way to live without their ‘little love’. (We love that term our daughter and son-in-love have for our grandson Samuel) He’s our little love too, just in a grandparent way. We are so very appreciative that there is a public recognition of this horrible, nightmarish, life altering event of infant loss. For every parent who has been given this tragedy deserves to be upheld publicly with respect and honor for their bravery and courage of living after loss. And - I should add - with most people wanting you to stop talking about it and just go on with life.

This year for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, we are decorating a remembrance table for Samuel. It will have things that we have had out before and in different places around our house but for this year we will daily build a 2015 table of remembrance for him until October 15 when we join others around the world for Wave of Light as we light our Samuel candle. Our table is not far from our front door for all to see who visit us. Here is a picture of what is on it when we started:

We have moved these things to another spot in the room and are now ready to build our Sacred Place of Remembrance for our precious Samuel Evan. Each day we'll be adding additional items.

October 1st – table covering 

A close friend of the family made this quilt for Samuel while our daughter carried him. It was displayed at his memorial service. 

The matching pillow reminds us that we got a glimpse of heaven while Samuel was with us. 

We added a collage of his photos, and now the table is ready for us to create a special place for him leading up to the 15th!

We will add to this daily and update all of you on as we get closer to the 15th, with his candle ready to light.

We encourage everyone to set a sacred place of remembrance for your child/grandchild that waits for us in heaven.

~ ~ ~

Dave and MaryJo Carlson are Samuel Evan's grandparents. Their daughter, RaeAnne, carried him with all her love after learning of his fatal diagnosis during pregnancy. She created All That Love Can Do in his memory. MaryJo runs the private group for bereaved grandparents, ATLCD_Grandparents. They live in MN.