Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Preparing for Delivery


Before our daughter Hannah was given a fatal diagnosis the thought of delivering her was scary to me. I don’t do well with needles, blood, IV’s, etc. at all. I goggled and read countless articles on how to prepare:  what to do to help with pain after giving birth, what to take to the hospital, etc. I also read pros and cons of keeping my baby in the room with me the entire time at the hospital, whether or not to breast feed right away, and who I wanted in the room with me. At the same time I was scared, I was also nervous and excited to have my baby. The days and weeks couldn't go by fast enough.

The day we received a fatal diagnosis all of my previous delivery planning changed. I don’t think there is any way to describe the feeling of preparing for your baby’s delivery and death at the same time. Where was I supposed to start? Is there really anyway to prepare for this? What do I do? I had so many more questions.

I prayed time would stop. 

I wanted and needed every second I had with her.

I wish there was something I could say to you that would make this easier. I can tell you that when you finally have your baby in your arms (born sleeping or not) you will feel a sense a joy to have them because they are your baby. With all the emotions that are going on, from the moment the fatal diagnosis was given, it’s easy to allow many others things to be put aside. That’s ok, because we all react to this journey in our own personal way. Since you have so much on your mind, I wanted to take the time to put together a list of ways to prepare for your baby’s delivery. Don’t be afraid to add or take away things you don’t want or need.

Here is a list to help guide you in your own preparation for the delivery of your precious baby. 

~Decide who you want at the hospital with you. If you have a vaginal birth, decide who you want in the delivery room.

~Request that you have a private room and that you stay on the Labor & Delivery floor.

~Consider having a doula that is trained to assist mothers who experience the loss of their baby (www.stillbirthday.com).

~Take a camera in addition to your cell phones camera (don’t forget to pack your chargers).

~Take special items like a blanket, outfit, stuffed animal, children’s books etc.

~Pack your personal hospital bag early with your shampoo, conditioner, body wash, slippers, pillow, 
blanket, and anything else you want or may need for yourself.

~Finalize a birth plan. Give a copy to your doctor and go over it with them (www.stillbirthday.com).

~Contact Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep to have them come and capture the moments after your baby is born (www.nilmdts.org).

~Take photos (video also if you would like) with your own personal camera (don’t forget to pack chargers and extra batteries).

~Take items to make molds of your baby’s hand and feet, as well as anything you’d like their hand/foot prints on.  

~Decide if you would like your baby baptized. If so, ask your pastor, priest, etc. or even your doctor.  (Our doctor baptized Hannah next to us in the OR.)

~Take the time you need with your baby. (I personally had from the time Hannah was born until Christmas day when it was time to go home. They only suggested taking her away for a little bit because she was stillborn and many hours had gone by. They brought her back when we asked them to.)

~Decide if you want your baby to stay in your room or brought to your room after immediately after delivery.

I have you in my prayers and thoughts, Matthew 5:4.

You are a beautiful Mother.

Love Always,
Heather

*Read more about preparing for Hello and Goodbye, here. You can do this <3

~ ~ ~

Heather Kimble lives in the Philadelphia area. She is married to her best friend, Jason and is mommy to Hannah Sue Kimble. Hannah is her only child. Heather carried Hannah after receiving a fatal diagnosis and was told to terminate. Heather was told to terminate based on the serious risk to her own personal health. She doesn't believe in termination and chose to carry Hannah with love. Hannah passed away and was born sleeping on December 23rd, 2013. Heather and Jason treasure every moment they had with Hannah during pregnancy and after delivery. Hannah has inspired a nonprofit started by her parents to help others and to help break the silence by sharing their journey of baby loss. Visit her blog, Hannah's Heart and Love, and follow her page on Facebook

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