Monday, May 5, 2014

Honoring Babyloss Mothers Project - Day Two


It's Day Two of our project! Did you read the letters from Day One?

For this project, we'll be posting notes and letters to babyloss mothers, written by the friends and family who love them. Learn about it HERE. Each day, we'll be posting more of the letters we received for these beautiful mamas.

We will be accepting new letters up until Saturday, May 10th, if you'd like to write a letter to the special Babyloss Mother in your life.
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To Kayla, Mother to Tristain
(Submitted by Marilee Anderson)

I would like to honor Kayla to recognize the loss of her beloved son, my nephew Tristain. Kayla I admire your strength and want you to know you, Adam & Tristain remain in my thoughts always. Love you!!

To Tanya Loewen-Watson, Mother to Ganya and Zaria
(Submitted by Robyn Dyck)

I want to let this special Mama know how wonderful she is! She has lost two precious daughters, Ganya and Zaria in a very short period of time. This Mama is so strong!! She manages to take care of her other three children and husband as well, probably forgetting to take care of herself (as most moms do). She is always at church every Sunday, and I often wonder how she does it, week after week. This Mama is extremely talented, she has a way of putting words onto paper that reach the very depths of your soul, and you know that's where her words came from.

This Mama is beautiful and sweet. She always has a smile, or a wave, or will chat (sometimes via FB) and I can see the love in her eyes when she does so.

Tanya you are a wonderful Mother, you have been through so much and yet still carry on!! You are an encouragement to me, just by being yourself. I know Mother's Day must be hard for you, I'm so sorry for the daughters you have lost. Please know that I am happy to know you, and want to celebrate you this Mother's Day!! Hugs to you, Tanya!!

To Paige Brase, Mother to Grayson, Mavis Emily, Aaron, and Jack
(Submitted by Marynell Owens)

Paige,
I think you are such a phenomenally strong woman and mother. I know it has been incredibly hard to lose first Grayson, then Mavis Emily, and then Aaron and Jack. So many times I have wondered how you have remained standing.

I admire the way you used your hurt and loss to help the children you teach. I love knowing that there is something tangible I (and others) can do to remember your sweet babies- giving books to their memorial library at your school. Even in your grief, you look out for others.

You are an incredibly beautiful and wonderful mother.
Love, Marynell

To Melissa Harris Neu, Mother to Tucker and Fletcher
(Submitted by Carol Hellard)

As Mother's Day approaches, I just want you to know what a good mother you have been and continue to be to your boys. They always know you love them and wait for the day you will see them face to face again. Until that time they are safe in the arms of God. Love you and pray for you daily. Live life to the fullest.
With love,
Carol

To Regina Stinnette, Mother to Tanner
(Submitted by Stacey Maddox)

One of the saddest days of my life was Tanner's Family Night. We gathered at the funeral home and stood in a small room. The tiny coffin at the front of the room overshadowed conversation. The parents, my then-husband's cousin and her husband, both wore thousand-yard stares. I don't remember any tears, but I remember hollow laughter. People were offering numerous platitudes. Heaven needed another angel. Too beautiful for earth. It was God's will. Someone approached me and whispered, "You know it didn't have a chance". Earlier that day, a family member had called to talk about the arrangements and how the parents had picked out a grave and a coffin and made the funeral arrangements. Tanner's mother, Regina, had to be dragged from the bed, they said.

A few weeks earlier, I had visited the NICU to see Tanner. In his little incubator, I had been astonished by how beautiful he was. I don't know what I expected to see, but I didn't expect a perfectly formed, tiny baby. He even had nipples, which is what I remember most clearly about him! Regina commented, "He just needed to cook a little longer". He was perfect! It never occurred to me that he could die. I was 25 and babies didn't die.

After the funeral, I didn't have much contact with Regina. An occasional visit or message was the extent of our connection. But I heard a lot about her. I heard about her struggles from family members. Some gossiped, others were concerned. And then, slowly, Regina herself started talking about them on Facebook. This was a smart, professional woman and her life seemed to be falling apart. I couldn't grasp the pain of what she was experiencing, but I grieved for her. Every year she posted notes to Tanner on his birthday and, even through all of the pain, her love for him was so apparent.

Today, I'm four months out from the death of my own newborn daughter, Denali. Regina, I have always admired you, but I admire you even more now. From you, I have learned that it's okay not to be okay. I've learned that being a mother means that you fought hard for your child and that you let your child go when it was time. You taught me that life is messy and raw, there's no answers, and that you don't have to handle it with grace. You fell down, and you picked yourself back up again. You have struggled. Your courage to keep going gives me courage. But most of all, your love for Tanner has taught me what it truly means to be a mother. Thank you. I want to wish you a Happy Mother's Day. I hope that somewhere, Tanner, Kellen and Denali are together. 

To Amanda Hoffman, Mother to Priscilla
(Submitted by Meg Worthley Sohns)

I would like to honor one of my best friends, Amanda Hoffman. Amanda is an amazing mom and so strong. I don't know how she does it, my heart still breaks for the loss of Priscilla and I know hers does too. I can't even begin to imagine the pain that Amanda goes through on a daily basis. She takes it all in stride and still continues to be a thoughtful and amazing friend, wife, and mother to her other 2 children. She is the glue that holds us all together. Not only would this have been Amanda's first mother's day with 3 children, it is the month Priscilla was born. She would have been 1 years old this month. I don't know if I could do what Amanda does everyday and to do it with such grace. I love her so much and am honored to call this woman my friend for life. You inspire me everyday, Amanda. I love you my dear sweet friend. I miss her too and will hold your hand every step of the way on this lifelong journey without your sweet Cilla.
XOXO

To Jaimee Semple-Zitzka, Mother to Jesse
(submitted by Lindsay Adams)

I don't always know what words to say or even if you want to hear words... But you are in my thoughts more often than not. You are brave beyond measure. You are loved more than you realize. Xoxo

Lin
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Remember, we'll be posting letters all week long, so be sure to check back every day to read more!

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