Friday, March 6, 2015

You Are Not Alone

by Heather Kimble

You are pregnant. You may have a wide range of feelings like excitement, fear, love etc. This baby may have been planned or a surprise. Regardless of your individual personal feelings and how much planning went into having a baby, you are here and adjusting to this new exciting journey. There are so many resources, groups, and others moms that are right in front of you just waiting to help and offer support through your pregnancy. 

Sometimes you want the advice and other times you would rather just find out on your own.  But in the end the simple fact remains that support is everywhere and you don’t need to go too far to find it. 

But then it happens. You hear the words that you never expected to hear, your baby is "incompatible with life". Right away the doctor suggests termination, because even if your baby is born alive they will only live for a few moments, a few hours, or - by a miracle -days. You’re in shock. You keep telling yourself this cannot be happening. In this fog of shock and denial you are not told that there is a whole community of support for choosing to keep your baby as long as you physically can. 

Suddenly, all of the resources, groups, and other moms start to back away. The support you had when it was thought you were having a healthy baby is nowhere to be found. You are left alone. You have no idea what to do next. Where do I go from here? You feel utterly alone and lost. 

I want you to know that you are not alone. There are still resources, groups, and other moms who are here to offer you support and love. I know that the support is not out in the open and I am so sorry for that, but please do not give up; you do not have to go through this alone.  There is a small close group of moms and dads, within the baby loss community, that chose to carry their precious babies for as long as they could with nothing but love.  You are free to share your story, fears, hopes, dreams, ask questions, vent, share resources you found, show off your beautiful baby, and so much more!

I am personally forever grateful for the community of women who also carried their babies after receiving a fatal diagnosis.  We have each experienced hearing the words, “incompatible with life,” but still our individual journeys are different and unique in many ways.  

Please take advantage of the All That Love Can Do website. Take time to go through the various blog posts, resources (more below), and private facebook groups. Samuel's mama has done such a beautiful job putting together such an amazing resource and safe haven for our community. 

We all chose life for our precious babies, no matter how short of time or whether any of that time was spent outside the womb or not. We treasure each moment forever.

You are not alone. 




~ ~ ~

Heather Kimble lives in the Philadelphia area. She is married to her best friend, Jason and is mommy to Hannah Sue Kimble. Hannah is her only child. Heather carried Hannah after receiving a fatal diagnosis and was told to terminate. Heather was told to terminate based on the serious risk to her own personal health. She doesn't believe in termination and chose to carry Hannah with love. Hannah passed away and was born sleeping on December 23rd, 2013. Heather and Jason treasure every moment they had with Hannah during pregnancy and after delivery. Hannah has inspired a nonprofit started by her parents to help others and to help break the silence by sharing their journey of baby loss. Visit her blog, Hannah's Heart and Love, and follow her page on Facebook


Here are some resources I personally used:
Books:

Songs:

Websites:

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