Thursday, May 16, 2013

Isabella's Story, by her mama

Post by Michelle

We had tried for over a year to get pregnant. When we found out we were, I was ecstatic. All I could think when I saw “pregnant” was “God let this be true!” We were so happy. We had our first ultrasound when I was 22 weeks along. Both of my sisters, my mom, and Brian were there.

There was barely room for the doctor! When he measured her arms and legs, they were measuring at 15 and 16 weeks. He said we could be looking at a form of dwarfism, but he wanted to send me to Indy for a deeper ultrasound with a specialist. I was worried, but I was okay if she had dwarfism. My life revolves around special needs people. We could do this. We went to Indy two days later.

When the doctor there said it looked like Thanataphoric Dysplasia (meaning her chest cavity wouldn’t grow enough for lungs to develop), and she’s not going to make it, all I could remember doing was screaming. My heart broke into a million pieces. I kept thinking “How am I going to carry her for another 18 weeks just to lose her?” We spent that weekend holed up together crying, asking God, “Why us? Why our baby?” I was so mad! If I heard one more person try to comfort me with “There’s a reason for this, we just don’t know what it is yet”, or “God has a plan” I was going to go off. These words did not comfort me.

The day of my planned C-section was full of anticipation. I was so excited to meet her, but dreaded losing her. May 31st, 2012, at 8:02 am, we welcomed Isabella Grace Harmon into the world. Hearing her cry was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. She passed at 8:47 am. That was the greatest 45 minutes of my life. We were so worried about how everything would go. Was she going to struggle? How are we going to be able to let her go?

This is the day I knew God existed. The day couldn’t have gone smoother. Bella didn’t’ struggle at all; she went peacefully in her sleep. We had the best, most caring staff at St. Elizabeth. Everyone took their time with us. We could just feel His presence there. We were so at peace; there’s no other way to explain it. We just felt Him. The final part that confirmed this for us happened the next day. Not long after the funeral home came to pick Bella up, we saw a baby bird land on our window ledge. A mama bird landed next to it, fed it, and they both flew away. Brian and I looked at each other and said, “She’s okay.” We hadn’t seen a bird before then, and we didn’t see any for the remainder of our stay.

Precious baby Isabella


Sarah said...

Oh my goodness! What a precious little face.

I am so sorry for your loss.

mochuisle.carolyn said...

Amazing story and precious girl. What a blessing to be able to read it!

paula said...

Beautifully written for a beautiful baby.

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