We had tried for over a year to get pregnant. When we found
out we were, I was ecstatic. All I could think when I saw “pregnant” was “God
let this be true!” We were so happy. We had our first ultrasound when I was 22
weeks along. Both of my sisters, my mom, and Brian were there.
There was barely room for the doctor! When he measured her
arms and legs, they were measuring at 15 and 16 weeks. He said we could be
looking at a form of dwarfism, but he wanted to send me to Indy for a deeper
ultrasound with a specialist. I was worried, but I was okay if she had
dwarfism. My life revolves around special needs people. We could do this. We
went to Indy two days later.
When the doctor there said it looked like Thanataphoric
Dysplasia (meaning her chest cavity wouldn’t grow enough for lungs to develop),
and she’s not going to make it, all I could remember doing was screaming. My
heart broke into a million pieces. I kept thinking “How am I going to carry her
for another 18 weeks just to lose her?” We spent that weekend holed up together
crying, asking God, “Why us? Why our baby?” I was so mad! If I heard one more
person try to comfort me with “There’s a reason for this, we just don’t know
what it is yet”, or “God has a plan” I was going to go off. These words did not
comfort me.
The day of my planned C-section was full of anticipation. I was so excited to meet her, but dreaded losing her. May 31st, 2012, at 8:02 am, we welcomed Isabella Grace Harmon into the world. Hearing her cry was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. She passed at 8:47 am. That was the greatest 45 minutes of my life. We were so worried about how everything would go. Was she going to struggle? How are we going to be able to let her go?
The day of my planned C-section was full of anticipation. I was so excited to meet her, but dreaded losing her. May 31st, 2012, at 8:02 am, we welcomed Isabella Grace Harmon into the world. Hearing her cry was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. She passed at 8:47 am. That was the greatest 45 minutes of my life. We were so worried about how everything would go. Was she going to struggle? How are we going to be able to let her go?
This is the day I knew God existed. The day couldn’t have
gone smoother. Bella didn’t’ struggle at all; she went peacefully in her sleep.
We had the best, most caring staff at St. Elizabeth. Everyone took their time
with us. We could just feel His presence there. We were so at peace; there’s no
other way to explain it. We just felt Him. The final part that confirmed this
for us happened the next day. Not long after the funeral home came to pick
Bella up, we saw a baby bird land on our window ledge. A mama bird landed next
to it, fed it, and they both flew away. Brian and I looked at each other and
said, “She’s okay.” We hadn’t seen a bird before then, and we didn’t see any
for the remainder of our stay.
Precious baby Isabella |
3 comments:
Oh my goodness! What a precious little face.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Amazing story and precious girl. What a blessing to be able to read it!
Beautifully written for a beautiful baby.
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