Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Rocco's Story, by his mama

Post by Kynde

I am currently 29 weeks into my pregnancy.

At my 19 week level 2 ultrasound/anatomy scan (level 2 bc I have thyroid problems and they wanted to check the babies thyroid). It was my husband, my 15 year old daughter and myself anxiously waiting to find out...boy or girl.

The appt. took approximately 40-45 minutes and the technician was talking to us throughout as if everything were normal.

We found out we were having a little boy, Daddy was extremely happy...Rocco Javiar is his name. The technician left and informed us the doctor would be in to go over the results (which is common practice with level 2 ultrasound's) she said it wont be long. During this wait we posted the pic's we were
just given and announced we were having a little boy.

Darling baby Rocco <3

The doctor came in about 45 minutes later...that long wait didn't mean anything to us as we were not anticipating anything other then he is developing 100% normal and we would leave and go about our day. After-all how could the technician be so held together and engage us in happy conversation throughout the ultrasound?  The doctor came in and didn't waste anytime in pointing out what was wrong, his bones weren't measuring up, his spine was slanted at the bottom, he was a dwarf all signs of a condition called Thanatophoric Dysplasia which is a severe lethal form of skeletal dysplasia. His lungs and ribs will not form correctly and this will be what will take his life. I was crying and couldn't hear anymore, I finally asked what does this mean for him? She told us his condition was not compatible with life outside the womb and the genetic counselor would be in to talk to us about our options.

Options? What do you mean options? Abort (all the while he is fluttering around inside me, the thought of this...NO WAY) , induce and have him in the coming weeks or carry to term.

Through many many tears and why us? We decided he would be carried to term and we would spend the rest of the time we have with him talking to him about his family, his pets, his sister Aliyah who couldn't wait for him. How much we love him and how much he is loved. Squeeze a lifetime of memories and love into the short time he is with us happy and warm, safe from the world that will inevitably take him away.

He has already so strongly imprinted his soul onto mine and with every kick and flutter I am reminded why I choose for him to be safe in my physical body until nature takes it course.

2 comments:

Mom said...

Kynde, I'm so very proud of you and your strength to carry baby Rocco full term. He feels your love and he is happy and healthy for now. I love how you show that love by reading him books, playing lullabies for him to hear and taking extra care with your health so that he will be healthy. I pray we have some time to spend with him when he arrives, so we can just love him until God takes him from us. You are already a wonderful mom to Aliyah and Rocco. They are lucky to have you and Anthony as parents. I'm so proud of you for continuing with your mommy classes, I think of how hard that must be along with all the other things that must be going on in your mind. I know we will only have him for a short time, and it will hurt so bad when he leaves us, but it's better to have him for even a little while than not at all. I cannot wait to meet my first grandson; hold him, kiss him, and shower him with love. I'm so sorry you, Anthony and Aliyah have to go through this, but you won't be alone. I know you have a great support group, so many people that love you guys. I wish I could be there as well. I love you all and think about you guys every day. Love, Mom.

Angie said...

Hi! My son also had TD. He was born at 36 weeks on June 25, 2010. He lived for 30 amazing hours. If you haven't already, I encourage you to look up our TD support group on Facebook. It has been so helpful to me. You are a brave woman to carry your precious baby, and you will be rewarded when you hold your precious baby boy in your arms! God bless!

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