My family went to get photos done for the holidays and we brought our 'Gianna bear' (our little girl's teddy bear urn) to be a part of the pictures. As we were waiting for our photographer friend to finish up with her session, we saw an adorable family walk up. A husband and wife who was beautifully pregnant, and an absolutely precious toddler. As they came closer I noticed something; they were holding two bears.
Could it be?
There's a part of me that hoped not as that would mean they've also survived the impossible. It would mean that they too have a piece of their family in heaven that they miss every moment of every day. It means they would know, they would understand.
'Is that a Molly bear??' she asked me immediately upon walking up. She knew.
So without thought I said 'yes!' (Even though our Gianna bear is an urn and not a Molly bear, I had that understanding of what she meant. Our community is very aware of Molly bears and if you're not familiar, these special bears are made by a bereaved mother to weigh the same as a loss parent's angel). She then proceeded to explain that they had lost twins about a year ago. Two perfect dreams shattered, but never forgotten and always loved. What a chance meeting. I absolutely believe that our angel babies bring us together. I believe that our little miracles coordinate meetings between grieving parents so we can help each other through grief's ever-changing tide. Their little hearts connect us through loss and love like some sort of divine intervention. Maybe our baby's met in the afterlife and decided their parents could help each other somewhere down the line. Maybe. It's a nice thought.
It's amazing how many friends I've met down this broken road. The beautiful souls I've come across did not deserve this, none of us did, but we have each other. Fellow allies on our lifelong journey that will pick us up when we can't see through the fog. We have a special connection, an instant 'bond' of sorts. Because even though each of our loss roads are very different, we all walk in the same direction-toward someday holding our children again.
Our little miracles can give us so much empathy and compassion. Our hearts are opened up with love pouring out for fellow bereaved parents. I've witnessed it. I've experienced it. My fellow loss sisters have provided me the privilege of receiving their kindness when I needed it most. They've donated love from their own mourning that maybe they didn't even feel they had left. This holiday season, try opening your heart to let the love for your child pour out. Let that love flood into everything you do and everyone you meet. Take their breath away with your compassion and kindness.
And if you're not there yet, that's ok. The love of your child pours out even through grief and mourning. Grief can only be cultivated from love and the deep longing we feel for our children is a result of loving with all of ourselves. That love can be meant just for you this year if that's all you can muster. Because self-love is above all else the most important commodity you can gift yourself with this year. You deserve it. Don't be afraid to reach out if you need it though. We all need lifting up at times no matter how fresh or far into this journey you are. Our connections are so incredibly sacred. They are so necessary. They are so cherished. And those connections are made completely out of love <3.
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Christine Russo is a wife to an amazing, supportive husband, and a mommy to Angel Gianna Marie, and her little brother, Romeo. She carried Gianna after receiving a fatal diagnosis halfway into her pregnancy. Through the love and spirit of their special daughter, who means the world to them, they wish to help support other families who have to say goodbye to a piece of their heart.
