12 Days of Christmas: Day Eight

Welcome to Day Eight of the All That Love Can Do 12 Days of Christmas! You can read all about this online event HERE. If you'd like to catch up on all the posts from this event, you can find them HERE. 

Facing the holidays without your baby, or when you know your baby's life is going to be short, is overwhelmingly hard. Please, above all else, be gentle with yourself. 

If you'd like to connect with other loss families facing the holidays without their children, you can join the private group on Facebook, HERE. 

We hope you find peace and healing in the days to come <3.

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Day Eight

by Heather Kimble

This is technically our second Christmas without Hannah. Hannah was born on December 23rd, 2013 and we came home from the hospital on Christmas Day. In addition to losing Hannah in December, we also received the devastating news on December 5th, 2013 that she wouldn’t live.  

I used to love Christmas, and in one way I still do because it is the celebration of the birth of Jesus, but to be honest, that’s the extent on my love and joy for Christmas this year. Last year, even though I knew the terrible truth, I had Hannah alive leading up to Christmas. That was much different than Christmas day 2013 and this year’s Christmas season. There are so many emotions. So many hopes and dreams that are shattered; Christmas seems to just highlight that reality.

I’m going to separate this into three parts based on how things unfolded for my husband and me.

Carrying Hannah to Term (December 5th- 22nd, 2013): 

• We went to visit and get our family picture taken with Santa Claus. ]

• We had a 3D ultrasound done and put Hannah’s heartbeat in 3 stuffed animals. We gave each of our mothers one (we let them choose the animal).
• I baked and made goodies with my husband and mom. I made sure to eat those special Christmas goodies so Hannah could taste them too.

• We watched our favorite Christmas movies with Hannah (Frosty, Mickey’s A Christmas Carol, Rudolph, etc.).
• For the first time, my husband and I put up and decorated a real Christmas tree in our home.

• We got special ornaments for Hannah.

• We got books for Hannah as presents for Christmas (Pat the Bunny, The Night Before Christmas, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, and 3 Little Critter books).
• Decided to make Hannah her own special and custom Christmas stocking, just like my great grandmother made for me.

• Watched a Christmas parade and enjoyed hot chocolate with Hannah.

• We even enjoyed Christmas shopping with her.

Our first Christmas without Hannah (December 23rd, 2013 – January 1st, 2014 when we were in the hospital and first week at home):

• We read to Hannah the book, The Night Before Christmas, in the hospital.
• We took a family picture with Hannah and the heartbeat giraffe in the hospital.

• We put the books we got her for Christmas under the tree along with her special ornament.

• I made Hannah’s Christmas stocking.(I've created a tutorial below so you can make your baby a special stocking).

The current Christmas season:

• Put Hannah’s name on her Christmas stocking and hang it with the rest of my family’s.
• Try my best to enjoy the Christmas season for Hannah.
• Get a family picture taken with Santa Claus and include Hannah by bringing Hannah’s heartbeat giraffe.
• Buy Hannah her first doll and stroller.
• Put up and decorate a small, real Christmas tree in our home.
• Put up a small, real Christmas tree at Hannah’s grave.
• Decorate Hannah’s grave with Christmas items.
• Give a frame to family of Hannah’s retouched photo as a gift.
• Light a Christmas votive for Hannah on her birthday through New Year’s Day.
• Take a family picture with Hannah’s heartbeat giraffe on Christmas Day.

I pray that in some way my words and ideas can bring you hope and comfort. I am praying for you and sending all of my love to you, especially during this Christmas season. May it be gentle and filled with love.

DIY Christmas Stocking

You will need:
A stocking
Scissors
Needle and thread (in matching colors to your decoration pieces)
Decorations
Glue (that will work on felt/fabric)
Fabric/felt (in your choice of colors and prints)

1. Decide how you would like your baby’s stocking to look. I just kept Hannah’s Christmas and giraffes.
2. Find patches, lace trim, appliqués, felt in colors/prints, and other decorative items you like.
3. Before attaching your items, place them on the stocking to make sure you like the overall look.
4. Start attaching you pieces to the stocking, start with the larger pieces first.
5. Sew or attach your baby’s name at the top of their stocking.
6. If you have to use glue, make sure to let it dry and set on a flat surface.
7. You’re all finished and your baby’s stocking was made with nothing but love.

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Heather Kimble lives in the Philadelphia area. She is married to her best friend, Jason and is mommy to Hannah Sue Kimble. Hannah is her only child. Heather carried Hannah after receiving a fatal diagnosis and was told to terminate. Heather was told to terminate based on the serious risk to her own personal health. She doesn't believe in termination and chose to carry Hannah with love. Hannah passed away and was born sleeping on December 23rd, 2013. Heather and Jason treasure every moment they had with Hannah during pregnancy and after delivery. Hannah has inspired a nonprofit started by her parents to help others and to help break the silence by sharing their journey of baby loss. Visit her blog, Hannah's Heart and Love, and follow her page on Facebook.